Listing Out

Hola! ¿Que Tal? Súper Bien.

Ok, so, I’ve made some progress on the list, not leaps and bounds, but I’ve identified a way to categorize my motivations on the list. How you ask, before snoozing because of all the technical sounding stuff? By Qualifying my list; adding the immediate emotional response I have to each list item.

My reasoning behind adding qualifiers is to better understand the connections on this list. Because this is my life, each item is connected to personal experiences and memories that are difficult to pinpoint however, qualifying them allows me to categorize and sort the items.

Qualifiers, and my list driven personal definitions

Love Gladly do this for free, for my own personal selfish reasons, something I really really want
Like I’m not compelled to do this for free, it is not a pressing “I must do this” feeling, but it is definitely something that I want to be actionable about
Interest I would do this for money; I would do this just for the knowledge of it
Fear Something that I must do to conquer the fear I feel about it
Dread I believe this is going to involve a lot of work, and I’m not sure I’m capable
Logical This makes sense to me in such a way that it cannot ever not make sense, now that I understand it
Need Something I understand I must do in order to feel good about myself, my life, my physical, and/or emotional health

 

And, here’s the list all qualified

Love, Interest Really learn to sew, at a professional level, to create my dream dresses outfits, dolls and projects

Interest, Logical Make money, enough to sustain myself with a comfortable and low scale elegant lifestyle, with very little “work.” Work meaning doing things I do not like or would not Choose to do for free.

Like, Logical Travel, a lot, a whole lot

Love, Interest, Need, Logical Help girls and women, and by extension men and boys too

Love, Interest, Need, Logical Do something about, or towards fostering more understanding about, race perceptions, self identity, and personal awareness, rape, sexual assault, true equity not the 50/50 bs, fairness, and a better living standard for people in general

Love, Interest, Need, Logical Expose women and girls to possibilites they haven’t allowed themselves, or been allowed, to consider. Expose the diversity and intersectionality of women and girls

Love, Interest, Need Read a lot of books

Love, Fear, Interest, Dread Write several books, but at the very least my dusty and forlorn ya fic book

Fear, Love, Dread Be fit as f!@#

Logical Be comfortable enough emotionally, financially, physically, spiritually, etc. to have, or adopt a kid, if that’s what I want to do in several years.

Love Live in Montreal in the warm nice weather months, and maybe experience a winter too

Logical, Love, Interest, Fear Create jobs that pay well, and treat people well

Love, Logical Be in a position to uplift my friends and family

Love, Fear Build a really really great relationship; supporting, loving, genuine, fun, and sexy.

Love, Interest, Logical Learn new stuff

Love, Fear, Logical Be fearless, or at least be able to say eff fear and do it anyway, legs shaking as I step forward

Love, Logical, Interest Be active in my community, with my body physically, and with my voice on the internets

Love, Need, Interest Ground myself with a custom fitted spiritual practice

Love, Need, Interest Practice yoga and meditation consistently

Need Allow and invite happiness and stay in a positive mental space

Need Let go of worrying and “I wish” type regrets

Need Be healthy

Need, Love Be comfortable

Interesting observation, I’ve written the list here exactly as it came out of my mind, and I notice I’ve put all my personal needs last. Hmm something to ponder.

Okay, so that’s what I’m sharing so far. I hope this helps you with your own list.

as always,

-xo

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